I worry that my brother is not doing so well.

I worry that my mom is either super depressed and hates the man she married and just doesn’t know what to do and I don’t know how to help her, or even worse she is super happy and doesn’t realize how much of a douche this guy is.

I have been missing them both lately but don’t do anything about it because I know that the second I do I will be madly disappointed.

I was throwing up so sick on Monday and ever since I haven’t quite felt right.

My biggest rock is sick too and I need him right now because I feel really vulnerable, but I continue to lovingly do anything I can because I just want him to be better again so he can start taking care of me again. which seems nice but I feel like a total jerk for feeling that way, and then typing it just now. But it’s more than half true.

I can’t sleep at night unless I’m at Rory’s and even then unless I’m being held I feel so weak, In every sense of the word.

I have security and support from the few people that matter the most but I feel like something is always off or wrong lately.

And ultimately although there seems to be itty bitty things wrong I know the biggest problem is me,and I don’t know how to fix this.

-True story sweety…true story.